| my salad manifesto |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|04:24 am] |
it's really terrible that i'm focusing so much energy and attention on girls again. but one positive side effect is that it has me thinking about cooking again. so i'm not sure what to make of it.
cooking has historically been the ruin of me in many ways. i always cook too much, i tend to lean toward bacon and bacon fat and pounds of pasta as my main ingredients, and i always feel the need to eat leftovers or ingredients quickly and in their entirety lest i have to throw away something.
this is how i get fat. there's a whole blog dedicated to the same idea.
so with the girls, and the accompanying food and cooking and boozing, i am slowly gaining weight again.
that being said, one idea is simply to cook better and healthier foods. i haven't bought bacon in ages, so that's been good. in fact the only meat interaction i have at home is mentaiko, beef jerky, and my the jangjorim my mom made and froze for me in september.
i consider myself well versed in pasta preparation. not an expert by any means, but i know i can whip something up in a jam, or plan out something more spectacular and delicate if necessary. i can gnocchi and lasagna and maybe i should get back to the fine art of fresh pastas, hand rolled, tortellinis?
but i realize i'm a terrible salad maker. which is probably good for prison life, but not so much for someone trying to expand their veggie repertoire.
so my conclusions on what makes a good salad, and why i don't think i do it right:
1) moisture content- moisture is the enemy of a good salad. all your greens and everything should be washed thoroughly but most importantly dried thorougly. spin the fuck out of that salad spinner, let it sit and drip and spin again. pat dry with towels if need be. nothing's worse than a whole bunch of juices and water and oil and vinegar pooling at the bottom of a salad bowl. if you're using fresh tomatoes, let em sit in a sieve after cutting so the excess moisture drips out.
2) good fresh ingredients - duh. probably good to have a nice bit of diversity, some crunch, some bitterness, some sweetness. whatever.
3) good liquids - nothing ruins a salad faster than mediocre oil, extra virgin olive oil sure. but it should be imported from somewhere, and if you're in korea, you should probably have spent at least $30 on it. the difference between the $50 olive oil and the $16 olive oil is actually pretty remarkable. though the costco tuscan extra virgin kirkland's whatever is definitely serviceable. the vinegar though is probably the secret weapon. anytime i use some random rare japanese vinegar, or some crazy expensive shit i buy in a wine store on a whim, people go apeshit. vinegar is the holy grail.
4) should not overdress - disappearing girl pointed this out to me, i may actually err on the underdressed side too often these days, but that's easily fixed.
5) warmth - i hate cold foods, so this is very personal. but i think any good salad should have something that warms you up. maybe it's a chinese medicine thing. something sun or man or penis. like almonds or toasted walnuts or pine nuts, or something that gives it a smoky pepper taste, or bacon bacon bacon, or bleu cheese, or beets, or i dunno. something musty or smoky or spicy or sexy.
or i guess you can just let some of the ingredients get a bit closer to room temperature. i always thought it was strange how you're supposed to chill your salad plates and keep the lettuce covered in the fridge til serving. i hate that. it's all so cold.
yeah, i really hate cold foods. that's why korean style hoi always bugs me. i want something that creates some sort of balance in my stomach.
or mebbe cuz it's winter and i'm typing some stupid salad manifesto naked at my computer instead of sleeping in the warmth of my bed with someone else naked who is not typing some stupid salad manifesto. who is nonexistent anyway.
dammit, this just ended up being about girls. stupid undying obsession. |
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| i am ready for nice things i think. i will not lose them. except maybe jackets. |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|03:37 am] |
it's hard to wax melancholy and wistful when you're so busy and the time you're not busy is spent snuggling with various girls, shlogging expensive wines, and eating elaborate meals with good friends.
i assume i'm living it up. it doesn't feel bad or wasteful or excessive though, excessive is always a half step away. there's various girls flitting about on my phone, and occasionally in my bed. though bed doesn't necessarily equate sex. alien eyes introduced me to a cat-eyed monosyllabic-named math girl. most of my interaction with her is defined by my making new riffs on her name, which translate so far to: daikon, pumpkin, persimmon, there's tons. i've also attempted to do something with this girl which i never do as a matter of policy: take her out on dates.
not sure if it's worth it. i feel i should leave every girl i meet open to girlfriendship, which involves being nice to them, treating them well, being honest with them, not seeming like some sort of drunken debaucherous playboy. it's not going so well. one always feels dishonest. and when it comes down to it, i just want to meet girls to sleep with until i meet the one that makes me want to not sleep with other girls so much.
this is another realization. now that i'm not fat, and i make decent money, and have a respectable job, and it's winter, and everyone is lonely, i find that actually, i'm not so much.
not that lonely. or more specifically, that as long as i have a warm body in bed from time to time, soft scented hair to bury my face in from time to time, and movies to watch, it's not so bad. i get drinks with the guys, flit off to wine tastings, buy overpriced olive oil because hott damn it's herby and spicy and better than the costco olive oil. the sum effect is that life passes by at a managable clip and i am if not content, complacent.
i know i'm missing out on some larger something. maybe i should get a dog, maybe i should get a girlfriend, maybe i should make movies. it's just less of a worry right now...
i am somewhat amused by what i perceive to be some sort of rising social status that i must have gotten over the last year or so. girls that have never given me the time of day are now randomly messaging me to ask me to look at their "stuff." and though i wish by "stuff" i meant "boobs," it's actually usually some sort of work related thing or project they're working on and oh could you recommend my friend for a job/position. people ask me for connections, introductions, positions. i am worth using now, in effect.
and all this time, i just thought i was good for a free drink.
not sure what to make of any of this. there's this distinct pallor of fake that nags at the edge of all this. i feel like a cheap corporate whore sometimes, like a good hardworking honest guy at others. manwhore some days, genuine nice guy who just finds women really really neat and would like to collect them all in his head like dancing lollipops on other days. ambitious professional angler vs. guy who keeps his head down and makes money as best as he can so that one day he can do Art with it.
yeah, i have no idea what's going on but at least it doesn't feel overwhelming. that's the strangest thing, i'm getting used to the pace of not just working two hours a day. i dunno.
anyway, i'm not complaining. i'm just always a bit wary. of situations and myself as well. and this time around, i want to try and not mess things up if something really good lands on my lap, i will clutch hard and fast this time. i guess i'm still talking about women here. because i'm probably smart enough at this point to not worry so much about professional or creative opportunities. i'm less of a self-sabotaging retard on those fronts. |
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| Leo Rosten: |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|10:00 pm] |
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"A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they’re dead." |
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| i eat bananas though. lots of bananas. |
[Dec. 11th, 2009|04:27 pm] |
dreamt i was at a house party with several rooms hidden behind frosted glass doors. mtv hyeong was there, along with caffeineguy and lexxy_pie. i told them i hadn't realized they were still in korea, and did they get their t shirts? i was careful to drink slowly, wandering around from group of people to group of people as is my wont. never sticking around for more than five minutes. i ended up lying down on a couch next to a 80s bedecked filipino girl with blonde hair. she told me she was happy to meet 2ne1. i guess they were somewhere at the party. it turned out the girl was some big star back in the day in the phillipines. i tickled her.
i don't really remember my dreams so much lately because i'm doing work as soon as i get up and log onto the computer. tis a boring life. wish i had time to buy more groceries. forever hungry with nothing to eat. |
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| life is stupid. so am i. this is not so bad. |
[Dec. 11th, 2009|04:24 am] |
i am playing dress up with myself. bought a black puffy jacket with thumbholes in the overlong sleeves, and a huge neck that comes up past my ears like this:
i also bought swoopy scarves and mufflers that are taller than i am, in a fluffy white cotton candy ivory and another hezbollah scarf. and a pink hat. and two technics 1200 turntables and a mixer. i am bleeding money filling the quiet bits of space in my heart with toys and i must say i do love it.
better spent on myself than stupid jaded teenage girls. or poker.
that being said, i need to buy my nephew some christmas gifts.
still trying to clean up and minimize every aspect of my life, including myself. caught up with an old friend from paris today who happens to live here now with his fiancee. went through africa, an MBA, and randomly plopped down in seoul. he's not korean american by the way. last i saw him it was ten years ago, we'd just gone through all the hostels in barcelona, got shitfaced on absinthe in a dank bar in a shady alley where i paraphrased a supposed picasso quote to some girl "how can you trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die!??" (you sexist fuck, was her response i believe).
i also believe we spent a fair amount of time getting drunk on cheap wine and talking about william sleator's "the house of stairs" and babbling on about the greater things in life. the guy borrowed my "disintegration" cd from the cure and the single for "protection" from my massive attack singles collection and then left the country. for years i was bitter but now it's not such a big deal.
one of the turntables doesn't work bc it has a blown fuse or transformer or something. who knows. i just want to have them in the corner of my apartment so i can be a poseur when girls come over. i'll just stick my hand to my ear and then BAM instant dj.
seems silly since i am already a dj. |
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